Big Green Benefit, Little White Man

A week ago last Friday, my Mom called to tell me that she had a surprise for me. She and a friend were driving back down to Eugene after attending the Big Green Benefit in Portland. So, I knew it had to be something from there. But I had no idea what it could be.

Even though I’m her favorite son (actually, I’m her only son), I wasn’t really holding out hope that it was one of the big ticket auction items. And when I heard her friend cackle in the background, I knew there had to be some catch to my surprise.

Saturday was game day and she wanted to know if I wanted her to bring my surprise to the game.

“Is it small?”


“Is it fragile?”


“Is it something I’m going to want to carry around the game with me?”

“Probably not.”

“Well, I’ll just get it from you tomorrow.”

After church on Sunday, we usually try to go out and have brunch somewhere as a family. Before heading in to the restaurant, she wanted to give me my surprise. And this is what I found standing up on the floor of the passenger seat of my mom’s SUV.

(Not actual size of John Canzano.)


Yes. It’s a John Canzano bobblehead. But that’s not the funny part of this surprise gift.

First of all, who would donate a John Canzano bobblehead as an auction item to the Big Green Benefit? Are you kidding me? It’s JOHN CANZANO. I know these near life-size replicas of Mr. Canzano were given out to the first 1500 fans who attended the Portland Beavers game at PGE Park this past Fourth of July. But John Canzano. An Oregon benefit. Seriously.

And that brings me to my second point: the home plate that he’s standing over has the Portland BEAVERS logo on it. Are you telling me that someone thought it was a good idea to donate a John Canzano/Portland Beavers bobblehead to Oregon’s Big Green Benefit?

Actually, yes. It was a good idea. But only because it ended up in my possession. For a price.

That brings me to the funniest part of this story. On Friday, September 14, 2007, over 300 people attended the Big Green Benefit and raised well in excess of $100,000 (probably closer to $150,000) for the Duck Athletic Fund. And out of those 300 people, only two people silently bid on Lil’ John. And one of them was my mom (Who was the other bidder?). And she won. For $7.

Yes, Lil’ John Canzano cost my mom $7. To put it into perspective, Mr. Canzano’s contribution to the Duck Athletic Fund that night brought exactly 0.007% (of $100,000) of the night’s total.

Was Lil’ Canzano worth it? He will be. And I think you’ll be surprised.


Keep checking back at and One Click Sports Blog for the further adventures of Lil’ John Canzano.

If you enjoyed this “little” bit on John Canzano, you might like reading this about Canzano’s past, and our future.



Filed under John Canzano, Media, Oregon

2 responses to “Big Green Benefit, Little White Man

  1. LMAO. More hate from Canzano (indirectly)? LOL

  2. Cindy

    JJ, something my husband & I do with this little statue we accidentally inherited awhile ago is we take the little booger everywhere we travel and take pictures of him. We have a nice little photo album of him traveling all over the world. We even loan him to friends to go traveling with them. My thought for Lil’ John would be to somehow attend every single Duck event and take pictures. I think you’ll end up with a lovely photo album to send to Big John.

    I can easily see a photo of Lil John being held up by the Duck mascot, the student section at Autzen, the Pit Crew, how about a few football players (perhaps have Morgan Flint “threaten” to kick Lil John for an extra point) – you’ve got the picture (so to speak!). You will be surprised how creative you get as time rolls on!!

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