Category Archives: John Canzano

Big Green Benefit, Little White Man

A week ago last Friday, my Mom called to tell me that she had a surprise for me. She and a friend were driving back down to Eugene after attending the Big Green Benefit in Portland. So, I knew it had to be something from there. But I had no idea what it could be.

Even though I’m her favorite son (actually, I’m her only son), I wasn’t really holding out hope that it was one of the big ticket auction items. And when I heard her friend cackle in the background, I knew there had to be some catch to my surprise.

Saturday was game day and she wanted to know if I wanted her to bring my surprise to the game.

“Is it small?”

“Yes.”

“Is it fragile?”

“Yes.”

“Is it something I’m going to want to carry around the game with me?”

“Probably not.”

“Well, I’ll just get it from you tomorrow.”

After church on Sunday, we usually try to go out and have brunch somewhere as a family. Before heading in to the restaurant, she wanted to give me my surprise. And this is what I found standing up on the floor of the passenger seat of my mom’s SUV.

(Not actual size of John Canzano.)

 

Yes. It’s a John Canzano bobblehead. But that’s not the funny part of this surprise gift.

First of all, who would donate a John Canzano bobblehead as an auction item to the Big Green Benefit? Are you kidding me? It’s JOHN CANZANO. I know these near life-size replicas of Mr. Canzano were given out to the first 1500 fans who attended the Portland Beavers game at PGE Park this past Fourth of July. But John Canzano. An Oregon benefit. Seriously.

And that brings me to my second point: the home plate that he’s standing over has the Portland BEAVERS logo on it. Are you telling me that someone thought it was a good idea to donate a John Canzano/Portland Beavers bobblehead to Oregon’s Big Green Benefit?

Actually, yes. It was a good idea. But only because it ended up in my possession. For a price.

That brings me to the funniest part of this story. On Friday, September 14, 2007, over 300 people attended the Big Green Benefit and raised well in excess of $100,000 (probably closer to $150,000) for the Duck Athletic Fund. And out of those 300 people, only two people silently bid on Lil’ John. And one of them was my mom (Who was the other bidder?). And she won. For $7.

Yes, Lil’ John Canzano cost my mom $7. To put it into perspective, Mr. Canzano’s contribution to the Duck Athletic Fund that night brought exactly 0.007% (of $100,000) of the night’s total.

Was Lil’ Canzano worth it? He will be. And I think you’ll be surprised.

JJ

Keep checking back at DuckSportsNews.com and One Click Sports Blog for the further adventures of Lil’ John Canzano.

If you enjoyed this “little” bit on John Canzano, you might like reading this about Canzano’s past, and our future.

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John Canzano Goes Back To The Future II!

New Deloreans are not supposed to hit the road until 2008, but it looks like they already have their first customer. That’s right. John Canzano. And I have proof. Because where John Canzano is going, and has been, he won’t need roads.

You probably thought he was just an award-winning sports columnist (#2 Associated Press 2006 Sports Column writing) and sports radio talk show host, right? Well, you would be wrong. Now add time traveler because he’s been reporting from the future. And, unfortunately for Beaver fans, the more things change, the more things stay the same. According to John Canzano on OregonLive.com, Mike Riley will make the wrong moves again in another loss to the Sun Devils…in 2020. More specifically, Wednesday, September 23, 2020.

Is this all you have to report from the future? Please, John, tell us more! When do the Beavers get back to the Rose Bowl? How many College World Series titles do the Beavers win in a row? What year do you become the Associated Press’ #1 sports columnist? How does “Lost” end? We have so many questions! Please!

I know. I know. You can’t say too much because it would probably mess up the whole space-time continuum thing. But I guess you weren’t risking all that much by telling us that the Beavers streak of losing in the desert would continue for another unlucky 13 years.

John, I guess we’re just not as lucky as you are. Not all of us have a Delorean, or a London Police Box, for that matter. So, don’t ruin it for us. We’ll just have to wait and see how the future plays out. After a 2-3 start to the 2006 season, who would have known that the Beavers would go 8-1 down the stretch, beat #3 USC, win the Sun Bowl in dramatic fashion, and finish with a #21 ranking?

Probably you.

JJ

Check out BeaverSportsNews.com for all present, and future, news on Oregon State University athletics.

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Filed under John Canzano, Oregon State, Pac-10